Manly things.

Top 5 things that make you manly.

1) Chewing Tobacco - Nothing says I don't give a fuck like chewing a big wad of dip. Having some black specks inbetween your teeth, brown saliva dripping off yer' chin and that squinty eye glare that just comes over you the second the sharp stabbing pain hits your lips just SCREAMS "I'm a man".

2) Drinking alcohol that tastes like shit - Drinking everclear and 151 is manly, watermelon vodka, while probably delish, is not. Malt liquor is pretty manly, if it's not that gay fruit shit. No sparks either.

3) Getting punched in the face(and not getting knocked out) - Getting punched in the face means it is probably a reaction to something you did that was so offensively manly someone had to hit you.

4) Racist jokes - Every real man hates SOMETHING.

5) Having a gut - Bears have guts and so do gorillas. 2 manliest beasts ever. Just don't have noodle arms and a big gut, it needs to be proportional.

And remember, men don't do things like wear cut offs, eat frozen yogurt and "go get coffee".